i'm a new person, or--newer..

When I was in my final years of high school I was apparently either pretty happy or pretty sad.
Today I went through the junk I had kept in my parents attic for quite a few years. I threw out a lot of it. Most of it was pretty useless. Just memories from pieces of trash. It's amazing how much different of a person I am now. Throwing away so many things from my childhood made me feel like I was finally laying that person to rest. I cried a little bit, just because so many things I had forgotten about myself resurfaced. I kept most of my creative writing pieces. From those I read of my manic moods in poems. It's hard to let go of my past. Even though it's been collecting dust in my parents attic for a good 10+ years. There were so many boxes that my mom asked me to go through. I really was a sentimental girl. I saved so many things that meant anything to me. Things I would've never remembered on my own. So instead of going through everything. I chose to just throw some unopened containers away to be forgotten forever. I am who I am because of my past and because of the present. I was not made to be remembered, or to remember myself. So much has happened to me, so much happens to everyone. That's life. It is amazing though to look back and see a person so different from who I am. A person full of questions and excitement. Now I have the answers to those questions and the joy that goes along with them. I am sure there will still be so many more changes to my life as the next 25 fly by. I hope that just like these past years the only thing that stays the same is my yearning for the Lord. He has molded me and taught me so much. I am so thankful to learn more everyday of my life.
Things I saved of interest:
Cassette of "Car Button Cloth" -- Lemonheads
Scrapbook of my trip to Tampa in 1997(which I made for my aunt-who unfortunately passed away before seeing it)
Poems about how I Hate Fall, and then how I Love It.
School portfolios with samples of each subjects work for the year
My Awana and Pioneer handbooks
Digital portrait from Kid's R Us in Exton during its grand opening circa 1990?
Photo album I made from my birthday camera 1990
a few barbies
Lisa and Sue-baby, my cabbage patch kids
Cherry Merry Muffin doll "Chocolatti"
Cap and Gown from graduation(what in the world am i gonna do with that?)
Just Nikki catalog with Britney Spears on the cover(before she was famous) 1998 (will it be worth anything?)
Diary from 1995-1998 (I had a million crushes lol)


I have a million porcelain dolls that i need to find a home for. They look pretty antiquish now.
It's fun reading all the things I used to write. I used to write A Lot...

The things i struggled with seem so insignificant now. The people who were so wrapped up in my world are so far away from me in every way. I love where I am now, but I feel like a stranger to my old self! The refining work has certainly taken place so far.

I used to watch "felicity" and loved how at the end they would show the album of certain songs that were played throughout, I bought Heather Nova and Soul Coughing through that!!
I remember when Jennifer Garner was on that show as Noel's old girlfriend. So weird.
That show got kinda raunchy toward the end though.

I kept letters from my friends before email really shot off. We would send each other notes and decorate the envelopes excessively. "P.S. Let's write each other REALLY long letters now!" one said to me. How sweet and innocent they were. Talking about pets and parents and boys looking our way lol. I forget who I was back then. I really do. If not for these memorabilia it would never have come back to me!

I have gone on for a while now! Hopefully I can scan some old pics in an put them up.
I have to unload my car of all the boxes of mostly dolls I brought back. My hubby sat down with me and read a lot of the old things I had written back in the day. It was pretty special.

I really feel like a new person now. A Lauren 2.0. I love my life, family, environment, even the left over snow.