hi

Dear Blog,

Please forgive me for ignoring you for so long. I have been busy with a lot of things, but not entirely too busy to blog once in a while. It's already the latter half of November and I happen to be listening to Joy to the World (by Sufjan Stevens)as I type this. Its a shame for me to go so long without updates, because then I forget all the cool things that happened or that I want to blog about :)

Asa was upset with me today when he left for school. We all woke up late and I rushed everyone to get dressed and eat, and being the easily distracted five year old that he is...he didn't do what I told him too in a timely manner and only ate a squeezable yogurt as he walked to the bus. I was pretty angry at the kids too, yelling a bunch.. I think that hurt his feelings; he wouldn't wave, hug or say goodbye to me.. in fact I saw him on the bus through the tinted windows looking down instead of over at us :(

It's amazing how something like that can change the whole day for me. I love my little one so much. He's pretty sensitive. Evie on the other hand isn't. If I yell at her she'll figure out a way to talk herself out of getting in trouble!! And then go and find some snacks.
I am sad though, I feel like a jerk.

I have to dye a tee-shirt for his Thanksgiving program today...He is really excited about and sings his song a lot. It's very precious. I sometimes feel that this part of life must be the climax, the spot where everyone wants to get to--maybe because once you get past it, it's kind of less exciting because you've experienced the main "life changes"(Though I realize I am thinking this before I've experienced a whole life) So this is probably also the hardest part of life, because it's tiring and draining and emotionally challenging. I think about how it'll be easier when the kids are grown, but then think I'll be sad when they're grown because life will be getting away from me, and I'll wish I enjoyed them being kids longer. I definitely enjoy it, but I do get very tired sometimes. Hubby mentioned last night about how nice it'll be for him to retire with me. It's funny because 6 years ago I would've never imagined that we would be looking forward to the latter half of our lives...it's just weird. I think one moral of the story would've been to wait a bit before having children. Three months of marriage wasn't enough time together. Granted we always had my step son, but still. I hope I don't sound unthankful for my amazing, beautiful children, because I would give my life for them, I just wish sometimes that I had waited. I know God has the best timing so I am actually just wasting my time thinking and talking about it, who knows how long our lives will be.

Something I wanted to do differently this holiday season, was to get as many handmade and/or local gifts I could find for family members. I am having so much fun looking on Etsy. I really would like to receive some re-usable fabric sandwich bags! and a bar of handmade organic shampoo--like a bar of soap.
Gotta go get some housework done